i want to make friends but at the same time no
I have a very big crush on u but sadly I am only a little bug and u are a garden
Delete her number.
Stop ringing her. Stop messaging her. Stop making excuses to see her, to drop by her place.
Erase her name from memory. Remove yourself from her life, more completely than you would like but as completely as she deserves. Move on, so that you can allow her to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see her face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about her lips, the warm glow of her skin when she rests next to you, or how she squeezes your hand in her sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of her perfume, that she only drinks mint tea (with two dollops of honey), or that she loves you.
She loves you.
She has been in love with you for too long.
So, forget how she says your name. Forget how she calls your name. Forget how she screams your name. Forget that time you got sick and she stayed up with you all night, letting you lay your head in her lap and holding a cold compress to your forehead. Forget how her hair feels in your fingers. Forget how she looks in your sweatshirts.
Know only that she existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that she could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of her life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let her stop investing emotionally in you. Let her pour that love and care into the people who deserve her.
Don’t tell her that you think about her all the time. Don’t tell her that it bothers you to hear about her with other people, but that you’re willing to understand as long as she likes you more than them. Don’t tell her that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. She shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.
Don’t tell her that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.
What you are telling her is that you want to keep her on as an option, that you are taking her for granted, that you want to know she will be there, that you can depend on her at the end of the day. When you find that no one else has stuck around or that those who have are less interesting, less thoughtful, or less doggedly loyal to you.
Doggedly loyal to you.
That is what she has been to you, for you almost as long as you have known her: a constant emotional crutch, the guarantee of stability, a safety net while you reach out to grasp objects that sparkle and shine far greater than she does. All that glitters is not gold, haven’t you heard?
She is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that her slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let her go, but you are afraid she is too good for you, that she could drive you wild, that you would choke on her flames. That she is too much for you to handle right now.
But if you choose not to love her now, you can’t choose to love her later.
— (via sprwmngmlnd)
— Bob Marley (via psych-facts)
They back off because they know they can’t have you.
— Sigmund Freud (via notsonicole)
1. Appreciate your dad, you don’t know what will happen.
2. If you don’t want to wear make up, don’t. For Christ sakes, you’re young and beautiful. Society can go fuck their self.
3. It’s really okay to love yourself. Appreciate the funny curve of your nose, and that gap in your teeth make your smile prettier. Just because you don’t look like that girl in the magazine doesn’t mean you can’t tell yourself you’re beautiful every now and then.
4. Do what makes you happy. I know you’ve heard this a million times, but I can’t stress this enough. Go after your dream job even if it goes against every thing your parents wanted. If you don’t like where you live, move. Your friends don’t make you laugh until your sides hurt? You don’t have to be friends with them anymore. You’re in control. No one else. Don’t fall under the pressure of pleasing people. Please yourself and live for you.
5. Love who you want. Regardless of gender, skin color, or societal views. Please never give up true love because you’re scared. Love is a beautiful, beautiful thing, and if you’re lucky enough to come across it don’t you dare walk away from it because of what others will think. Take the looks, the whispers, and the criticism with a smile, grab your lovers hand, and if you’re feeling extra happy, kiss them for the world to see. Let me tell you, the world is only jealous because they simply can’t understand.
6. Take long showers and lay on your bed naked after, sing too loud, sleep through your classes one day, and another day just don’t leave the couch. It’s okay to just decide you don’t have responsibilities for a little bit. Everyone needs a day ever so often to just relax. It’s okay to be lazy. It’s okay to sleep for 12 hours straight. It’s okay to go to bed at 6 AM because you’re reading and wake up at 3 the next day. Treat yourself, but most importantly love yourself enough to give yourself time to breathe.
7. Alone time is good for the soul. I truly believe that. I think it’s good to cancel your plans sometimes, close your door, turn off your phone, and play some John Mayer (or whatever your prefer). Maybe you could read a book, or hell even write one if you’re up for it. But take some time to yourself and learn to be happy with just you and the sound of your breathing. At the end of the day, you are the only person that is guaranteed to stick around, so you might as well learn to enjoy the way laugh at your own jokes or the way you pronounce words when you read aloud. Being comfortable alone is more important than you know.
8. It’s okay to be 20 and still love Disney movies. It’s not even a guilty pleasure. Everyone has their favorite whether they admit it or not.
9. Do not compromise who you are to impress someone else. You are a wonderfully constructed individual. Your trials, experiences, and life all together have sculpted you into the most lovely version of you possible. If a person doesn’t like the way you live, from your sex life to your music taste, who cares? You were not put on this earth to impress them, or anyone for that matter. Impress yourself. Stick to what you want, stand up for what you believe, and tell people to screw off if they have an issue with any of it. It’s your life.
10. High school does not in any manner prepare you for college. One time my teacher dismissed class early because a kid fell down the stairs and he was laughing too hard to continue the lecture. That’s all I have to say about that subject.
11. I know you’re making a ton of new friends at this stage in your life, but don’t forget whose been there from the start. Your new friends may be exciting and wonderful and the best friends you could imagine but the ones that knew you back in middle school and were still there for you are genuine. If they loved your through your awkward phase, they’re probably in it for the long run. So send some love their way ever so often. When you’re older, you’ll be glad you did.
12. Your mom will probably cry a lot during the next few years. Let her. Hug her. Cry with her. She just wants you happy at the end of the day. You’re growing up, and life’s exciting, but you have to remember that you’re her baby, and the more you find yourself, the more she feels she’s losing you. I know you’re getting older, but so is she. Spend Sunday afternoons telling her about your life or reading her your new poetry. She’ll appreciate that so much, and you will too later on.
13. It’s okay to get drunk. Whether it be just for fun or that you need liquid courage to text an ex, it’s completely fine. And you know what else is completely fine? Not getting drunk. It’s okay to be the mom, the DD, or to not even show up to the party at all. It’s all okay. But you know what isn’t? Judging whatever decisions your peers make. So what there was a photo posted and that girl you went to high school with was wasted? It’s not really any of your business is it. And if that guy decided to go to that poetry reading and skipped the biggest party of the year, It’s really not effecting you at all, so don’t act like it does.
14. Stop glamorizing sadness. Sadness is not beautiful. It does not glow. Disorders are not something to make light of, and scars are not something to be ignored. Be proud of who you are. Eat that hamburger, and put the razor down. And most importantly, smile. Happiness is by far the most beautiful thing about a person.
15. It will all be okay at the end of the day. Life has a funny way of working out.
16. Speaking of funny, life literally never goes as planned. Don’t waste your time fretting over the future. Faith and destiny work hand in hand to make sure life keeps you on your toes.
17. Karma is a real and powerful thing. Please try to keep it on your side. Your bad deeds catch up with you in a big way. Take your time to build up your good karma, and do some good for other people, even if the deeds are small. Put a quarter in an expired parking meter, serve food at a homeless shelter, or go visit an elderly person at the nursing homes. Good deeds are good for others, and good for your soul.
18. You can never go wrong with pizza.
19. Don’t wish your years away. I know you’re at that age where you’re responsible for your choices, but aren’t really considered an adult but you’ll want these years back. Being young is the most fantastic, exciting adventure you will ever endure. And when you get older you’ll wish for these years back, even all the bad days that came along with it. So enjoy your youth, relish in it. Because you will never be younger than you are right this second.
20. And lastly, if you ever feel unloved and worthless, just know I love you and find the upmost worth in you. You’re destined for big things, now go get them.
— 20 things I think you should know before you turn 20 (via brennanat)
it is actually really sweet when someone stays up late to talk to you