Walk the Talk

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jspark3000:

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At times when I’m serving at church or encouraging a friend or writing some inspirational piece, I think —

If people knew how I really am, they’d run screaming.

Because I often feel like I’m compensating for the wrong I’ve done, and that there is never enough I…

1 week ago with 125 notes » Permalink
One day, she’s going to know. She’ll know your birthday, your middle name, where you were born, your star sign, and your parents names. She’ll know how old you were when you learnt to ride a bike, how your grandparents passed away, how many pets you had, and how much you hated going to school. She’ll know your eye colour, your scars, your freckles, your laugh lines and your birth marks. She’ll know your favourite book, movie, candy, food, pair of shoes, colour, and song. She’s going to know why you’re awake at 5am most nights, where you were when you realised you’d lost a good friend, why you picked up the razor and how you managed to put it down before things went too far. She’s going to know your phobias, your dreams, your fears, your wishes, and your worries. She’s going to know about your first heartbreak, your dream wedding, and your problems with your parents. She’ll know your strengths, weaknesses, laziness, energy, and your mixed emotions. She’s going to know about your love for mayonnaise, your dream of being famous when you were five, your need to quote any film you know all the way through, and your fear of growing older. She’ll know your bad habits, your mannerisms, your stroppy pout, your facial expressions, and your laugh like it’s her favourite song. The way you chew, drink, walk, sleep, fidget and kiss. She’s going to know that you’ve already picked out wedding flowers, baby names, tiles for the bathroom, bridesmaid dresses, and the colour of your bedroom walls. She’s going to know, get annoyed at and then accept that you leave clothes everywhere, take twenty minutes to order a Starbucks, have to organise your DVD’s alphabetically, and check your horoscope… just incase. She’ll know your McDonald’s order, how many sugars to put in your tea, how many scoops of ice cream you want, and that you need your sandwiches cut into triangles. She’s going to know how you feel without you telling her, that you need a wee from a look on your face, and that you’re crying without shedding tears. She’s going to know all of it. Everything. You, from top to bottom and inside out. From learning, from sharing, from listening, from watching. She’s going to know every single thing there is to know, and you know what else? She is still going to love you.

— (via deliriousmistakesmisunderstood)

God I hope so

(via livewrecklessly-lovefiercely)

(Source: the-taintedtruth)

1 week ago with 471,806 notes » Permalink

Francine RiversAnd the Shofar Blew (via feellng)

(Source: feellng)

1 week ago with 6,192 notes » Permalink

— Lisa Terkeurst, The Best Yes  (via yesdarlingido)

(Source: shechoosesjoy)

1 week ago with 445 notes » Permalink

J.S. (via jspark3000)

1 week ago with 1,211 notes » Permalink

Hellowww phoouwszxzs! 

Tulad ng pambungad na pagbati ko, alam kong masakit rin sa bangs ang nararamdaman mo ngayon. Sa mga oras na ito, alam kong paulit-ulit mong pini-play sa brain-cine-mo-toh ang mga panahong unang nagkatitigan ang mga mapupungay na mata ninyo. Tapos, inaalala mo rin yung unang pagkakataon na naramdaman mo yung spark, kiliti o kati na hindi mo ma-contain sa body system mo, sabay sabing, “Lord, siya na ba?”

Alam kong hinding-hindi mo malilimutan yung araw na hiningi niya yung number mo at lahat ng nerves na konektado sa kalandian mo ay nag-activate kaya naman in just a span of a nanosecond, agad mo namang ibinigay ang number mo sabay sabing, “pakilala ka ha”. 

At dun nagsimula ang lahat. 

Araw-araw ka niyang kinukumusta kung okay ka lang ba. Kung kumain kana. Lahat nalang ng polite expressions nasabi niya na rin. Good morning-Good noon-Good evening-Good night-Good mornight. Kaya ikaw naman, wala kang ibang inassume kundi, “OH-EM-GEE, I am getting his attention. He likes me. That’s for sure”.

At dumaan ang mga araw, linggo, at buwan. Everything was just going fine and there it goes…

Nung alam mong fall na fall kana sa kanya. Yung tipong hahamakin mo ang lahat para maging “kayo” na at hindi siya mawala. Yung feeling na nagpa-plano kana ng kasal ninyong dalawa. Yung moment na wala kang ginawa kundi i-prioritize mo yung landi-moments mo sa kanya, eh siya naman ang tuluyang paglaho niya.

Alam ko ganito yung nangyare. 

Sabi mo sa kanya, “Ano ba tayo?”

Syempre, sabik na sabik kang mabasa yung reply niya.

*1 new message*

-Landi nerves activated-

Agad mo namang inopen yung message pero sa kasamaang palad eh nanay mo pala yung nagtext. 

Hanggang sa umabot ng isang oras, wala paring reply. Tapos, sabi mo sa sarili mo, “baka busy siya ngayon kaya di niya ako tinetext/kinakausap” , “wala sigurong load” , “hindi siguro na send yung text ko”.

Hanggang sa umabot na ng isang buwan at walang ka pa ring reply na natanggap. Para’ng hinambalos ng dos por dos yung puso mo pero wala kang magawa kundi ang magtaka kung ano ba yung ginawa mo. Ano yung mali sa yo. Ano ba talaga kayo.

Dumaan ang panahon at nagbabakasakali ka pa ring replyan niya. Pero hindi ka na umaasa na sabihan ka niyang “may gusto ako sayo” kase narealize mo na “there was never an us” yung drama ninyo.

At dumaan ulit ang panahon na may kasamang bagyo pero hindi pa rin siya nagpaparamdam. Hindi ka niya na rin minumulto. 

Hanggang sa dumaan na naman ang panahon pero ngayon, natuto ka na. Ngayon, alam mo na na may mga taong dadaan sa buhay mo sa isang tinakdang panahon pero hindi habang buhay.

Okay lang masaktan. Valid yung feelings mo. Pero kailangan mong magmove on. Kailangan mong lawakan yung isip mo. Kung minsan kase, sa sobrang attached na natin sa isang tao nagiging bulag na tayo. Alam naman natin na wala talaga. Pinagpipilitan lang natin na meron.

Kaya naman, magpalakas ka ngayon at magmove on. Para sa susunod na journey mo, alam mo na kung saan ilulugar ang sarili mo. :)

1 week ago with 0 notes » Permalink

I know it’s harshly unfair to look at your past 4-year relationship with that girl and compare that to how “innocent” I am in terms of relationships. I know it’s my own issue; not yours. I know I have to burn the “Pharisee” in me and see you as a man who has learned from your past and who is so loved by God that He would always make way for second, third and infinity chances for you.

I just really don’t know how I feel right now. Maybe, this is insecurity. Just maybe. I know past is past and you’re into me right now. I know that you sincerely respect me and love. And I appreciate you for that. However, I don’t know why your past with her is an issue for me. Knowing that was 3 years ago. Maybe because I’m calculating how much of your heart have you given to that girl. I’m afraid if there is something left for me. Yes I know.. THIS SOUNDS SO SELFISH AND SILLY but this is how I feel. 

I just pray that God would give me the grace to overcome this feeling and accept that things go in a certain way because God has His own reasons and He has His own way of dealing with each person. Maybe He dealt with you through allowing you to have a 4-year relationship with that girl and He dealt with me through not-having a relationship. In the end, God knows what He does and His plans are good, pleasing and perfect.

1 week ago with 1 note » Permalink

— C.S. Lewis, The Weight of The Glory (via oniyide)

1 week ago with 3,513 notes » Permalink

tblaberge:

If you don’t feel like you can talk to your significant other about purity and respecting one another, you are not in a healthy relationship. You need to get out of it, period. No “buts”, no “what ifs”, GET. OUT.

A relationship can be one where mistakes happen, and that’s realistic, but when fear…

1 week ago with 240 notes » Permalink

— T.B. LaBerge // Unwritten Letters to You (via tblaberge)

1 week ago with 5,066 notes » Permalink
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